The Hierarchy of Grief: Know this before Posting another RIP on Social Media

The Hierarchy of Grief: Know this before Posting another RIP on Social Media

The present age is definitely the era of social media where you can find people talking about every detail of their life; from a Football match to politics, be it a marriage ceremony of someone`s close fellow or someone even dies, people nowadays rely on virtual social platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. as if they are an integral part of our lives now. For whatever reason on might be inclined to share such sensitive information of their life such as the death of somebody close to a bunch of strangers on the web, it really begets questions like the mindset of the propagator. No doubt demise is inevitable and everyone has to go one day. But distorting cultural norms for the sake of getting sympathy from others in a computer-generated world is actually far from normal. There is a specific hierarchy of grief to follow.


Hierarchy of Grief

When I say there is a hierarchy, it means there is an arrangement of things that should be according to their comparative significance. Similarly, dying moments of a certain person no matter he or she was, whether a young person in prime or an old one with more memories, the feelings of people affected by this tragic incident are mainly unknown to rest of the parties.


Remembering the old customs

The death of a close friend or a family member is undoubtedly an unbearable occasion which reminds us that we are all mortal. The majority of the people express their condolences and show their love and support to the affected individuals. Before the era of social media, these acts were accomplished through flowers, direct phone calls or even thru voicemail. But nowadays, what happens is that people go for shortcuts and start posting things related to deceased like old photos or sharing their memories to the people he or she even had no connection with by using Facebook or Instagram. Although doing so is not a criminal thing to do, but it certainly is not that noble thing to do either. Instead, one should be giving the affected parties due time to recover from such terrible time. In the early moments of such incident, social media is most probably the very last thing that they would visit and read your posts.


Application in new age

Now coming towards applying the concept of a hierarchy of grief to this particular situation. One must keep in mind before posting anything on Facebook or any other media channel that what their relative importance or worth to the newly deceased is. First of all, it`s the immediate family members like spouse, children, fiancé or a fiancée, or any other inner circle who should be posting such stuff and not you. What happens is that while posting anything like that, other people read it on social media. Consequently, they start calling the immediate family members about it which cause a lot added pain, shock, and even anxiety if it happens in the very first few hours of the incident.



The key here is the timing. It could go all wrong in haste, which could cause further stress. Instead of posting right away, one should take some time off and look for the right moment; at least give it a day time for the affected ones to at least recover to some extent first. The hierarchy of grief concept also refers to the timeframe. If you do it after a day or so, the bereaved ones will be in their true senses to appreciate your effort of respect, love, support. They might also react positively to your keen gestures.

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